today was the first day since the end of winter semester 8th grade where i felt proud to be a student. i didn’t drag my way through, listening in one ear and letting it out the other like before. it was just my first few midterms this fall, but it honestly felt like my first midterm set ever. the first ones i had justly sacrificed my sleep for, and that i had studied in intentions on passing my classes with integrity, while learning with a good attitude. im slowly grasping this idea that im worth more than I think, that there is still hope for me to come back to “normal.” im extremely exhausted but the feeling i get when i accomplish something like this is so worth it.
my weekends are occupied but lonely, but that’s okay. keeping myself busy always.
With that said, I will go on a posting hiatus. I’m filled with a lot of concern for the people I care about and I want to prove it to them before I post anything else, and hopefully my improvements as a person will encourage others to do so. My goal is to make the people I care about proud or just put a small smile on their face. Another goal, very important one, is to be able to truly smile at myself again. To be able to honestly tell myself I’m a good person. To make my mom proud if she were still here. Adieu
I’m always here. I’m working hard on bettering myself with the rest of my time here, but I’m always here to listen. Every day is a new challenge and I’m facing it head on, with just myself. I’m gonna keep this up because it feels good. It feels right. I want you to know that I find this more than worth it. This is my own life and I’m taking control of it. I will hold on and persist with my actions.